Tuesday, March 16, 2010

ranting.. yes again!

So.. here it is 4 weeks till brandon comes home.
4 weeks :o

Oh me OH my!!
Its just so nerve racking everything thats been going on this deployment. To have help again, to have someone that I have to share with, and clean up after. To have someone other than me disicipline my child. This is something that every military wife has to think about and go threw when there spouse comes home. Its a very hard adjustment. 

Not only do I have these things to go threw, brandon and I have a ways to go to fix our marriage. I just hope that everything works out for the best. We are far from perfect thats for damn sure. I just wish that I could go to sleep and all the problems be solved, and all my questions be answered. I dont wanna think about the past or the things that [WE] as a married couple has endured, but I ask myself how can I move on with the future if my past still lingers in front of me. We will just have to crawl...and I just have to swallow my pride, and pray and put everything in gods hands.

The last book I was reading was called redeeming love, and in the book there was a wish box.? (I will have to look back in the book, and find the correct name)  Its where everything that was out of her control, she wrote it down on a piece of paper and placed it in the box. Kinda like just giving all the problems to god. Its perfect for someone like me that likes to be in control, its kinda of a better way to give him your problems or unanswered questions.

ANYWAYS

 I swear I have went to hell and back within the past 5 months. I have overcome so many obsticals this time. I have definaly become a stronger person. I have learned, and I have grew. I have hurt, and cried many, many tears. I have had to overcome many obsticles that I have feared for years. I feel like I have grew to amazing new heights, and within it all I have found me again. I hope to continue on this path.. I knew this year was going to be great, and I cant wait to see whats in store for me, and my lys too of course. I cant/wouldnt want to go anywhere without her.

Anyways thanks for listening--or reading-- :) On that note heres my pretty before school today & yesterday, and yes make up AGAIN? really???

thanks for joining us in This journey we call life


2 comments:

Katie said...

It sounds like you have a lot going on with Brandon coming home and getting ready for his arrival. I hope the time flies and everything is well when you see each other again.

Whitney said...

You just have to love post deployment adjustment! Everything will work out, just keep your faith that it will. I'll be praying!