Tuesday, June 29, 2010

So today 24 years ago...

I was born into this amazing world in which..
I have felt great happiness,
I have smiled so much my cheeks hurt ,
I have felt great sorrow and fear,
I have made some amazing friends that have come to be my family.
I have family that loves me so much it hurts.
I have overcome major obstacles,
And I love everypart of my life, the good, the bad and the ugly!

I am so thankful to live, and breath and wake up to THIS amazing face.

Regardless as to what ever happens I am thankful for her.. EVERY second!

Happy 24th birthday to myself...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Since I have been MIA.. I owe you to tell you whats been goin on..

First I should say that Peytons services were really nice.
VERY HARD..but it was nice.

Since then I am happy to report that my darkness (the horrible worry factor) has very much subsided. Things have been going somewhat back to whatever u wanna call  normal. Saturday morning I woke up early and Mandy came and picked me up and we went and watched the sunrise, and had good girl time and studed the bible. I really needed that.

 We didnt do much after then went to there house and had dinner. After we left what was a awesome dinner, and lovely people (thanks guys). The husband and I got into a miserable fight and I kicked him out.. It was a first for me, and it was SOO difficult. I just wish that something would come out of all this. I wish that we could just make up or either give up. This in between stuff is driving me crazy!! BIG TIME!

Dont worry thou he came back like 20 mins later wish pepsi in hand, and willing to talk. So thats good at least, and hes back home. Other than that nothing really new is going on. My dog scratched my new couches the other day, so lets say shes gated off in the kitchen. :( I hate to do that to her but I cant have her messing uo the new stuff.

So once again I have changed my mind about lys room inspiration. And I have totally decided what its going to be and im so confident in it im going to start getting stuff. PLUS I think that I can do it a whole lot cheaper this way. :) So here it is :):)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Pepsi & Sweet Sixteen......

*Make a GREAT combo for breakfast :)

*So I think that I forgot to mention that saturday i got stung by something.. what I have no Idea , but it hurt like HELL!!
I almost wanted to cry, and to top it off I didnt do anything.. The low life bug was just wanted to commit a hate crime, and I hope it died..

This was my leg.. 2 days later
And today it looks like a HUGE bruise.. All the ladies at work says that it was a allergic reaction. :( So I guess now im offically allergic to wasp thing stings. AHH

* So I have ran into another parenting problem. I hope its just not me either..  At the age of 2, alyssa is a great little girl. She is smart, and sweet, and funny, BUT sometimes I guess the "terrible two's" come out. To be quite honest I dont really know what to do when we are in public. When we are at home and nothing works, I take her to her bedroom tell her that since she cant listen then she gets to sit to herself for a min. Although she kicks and screams and yells and can open her own door she doesnt like it, she actually sits there and deals with it. I then go get her, and talk to her about it, and she actually listens for like the rest of the day. Its pure bliss actually. As soon as we go out in public though she acts so bad now..You know gets in the clothes rack and hides, and I try my best to tell her no, and to act right but eventally it always turns out the same. Along the lines of me or daddy dragging her out the store kicking, and trying to talk to her about her behavior as she bucking, and telling us no.


*So I have so been slacking on my 101. I need someone to get my butt in gear!

*I really wish my hubby would stop thinking we are going to make thousands of dollars from moving ourselves. I think hes crazy, and would really like for him to make up his mind on what he wants to do.

*I am SUPER excited about my sat morning with Mandi :) I will have to tell you all about what we are going to do MONDAY.. due to the lack of internet at out house.. Gotta love me some AT&T.. they have been the best service providers EVER...... NOT!!!

*Peytons services will be: Wednesday at 6 is the viewing.
                                     Thursday at 11 is the funeral.
(This will be probley one of the hardest things I will have to do, so please keep the prayers rolling. There are some family issues going on, so the family can still use LOTS of prayers right now.)

*Lunch?!? Chinese or pizza?!? The decisions contine..

Till then thanks for joining us in this journey we call life.

Monday, June 14, 2010


So guys first off I wanna say thanks for all the prayers and support Peyton, and her family. I know they are very much appreciated. Peyton passed away saturday at 4. Its so hard to understand. I know that everything happens for a reason. Just sometimes I cant wrap my head around it.

She was my flower girl :)
RIP baby girl! You are truely loved and missed by many.

I myself have always been a worrier, I think about things I shouldnt all the time. I thought for sure when brandon came home, it would help ease my mind a little, and it had. I was doing fine untill all this happend. Now its amplified by like 10.

I worry about not waking up.
I worry about getting in a accident.
I worry about something happening to lys or brandon.
I worry about all my friends...
I worry about my sister leading the wrong path

This isnt healthy for me.. and its kinda my dark place. I dont know if time will make it smooth back out, or I need to go talk to someone about it. I have prayed, and gave all my fears to the lord, yet I still have this fear weighing on my chest. If I let my self I could even possibly just cry cause im so scared of anything that could possibly happen. It wouldnt help that im a emotional person anyways now would it.

Im not always this bad, and sometimes I can go weeks and not even really let this get to me. I really just think this happening it has brought it back up and maganfied it.


Yesterday I was holding my friend amandas adorbale very new bundle of joy, she was so beautiful and tiny. It was something I had never felt before the great weight of the loss of peyton, the complete joy of this new perfect baby. It was a moment I will never forget.

We have decided that we are going to take lyss to see toy story 3 with Mandi and her sweet little family. I am pretty sure we are going to wait a little so that its not so croweded.

Till then, thats all thanks for joining us in this journey we call life.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I said one thing and now...

I am doing another

Why hello hello, there Tuesday! Time sure does fly by doesn't it? So I know that everyone out these has said/done this.. especially parents.

I would never let my kid do that..
I would whoop her butt if she done that..
I cant believe she lets her child so that.. never in my house..

Well ladies and gents I can announce that this face right here..

I officially am a part time co-sleeper.
I NEVER thought that I would give in to it, and when I mean part time. I mean she gets out her room, and comes and gets in our bed at like 5-30, 6ish, and then sleeps with us till we wake up. I just realized that with everything going on with peyton, somethings like this I just have to let go.. It actually is kinda nice to see this sweet face cuddled with her blankie when I first open my eyes.

I just cant help but let her come on it, and have some lovie, cuddle time :)
On another note.. Yesterday daddy started trying to teach lys to ride her bike..
It was so cute, and I think she really WANTS to learn. After so long though she didn't wanna no more.. so mama hopped on and she wanted to push me. I guess that's fun at 2. So we were going down a bump and daddy decided to help, then
I was quite sad so we had to put the bike up because the plastic was all sharp and daddy wanted to fix it before she rides it again.
One last thing.. yesterday when the hubbs and I were talking about my birthday lyssa informed me that it was her birthday tooo..
SO I guess I get to share my birthday with her, as well as everything else.. I LOVE IT!! :)

Peyton is still bad, she had a 107 fever the other day and her brain began to swell the docs are thinking shes going to walk or talk if she wakes up..... so please keep praying for her....

Thanks for joining us in this journey we call life.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Wednesday June 2nd

Was what I knew as a normal day. Lyssa started waking up at 3:30 all of a sudden, but noting else was different. Or so I thought...

I grew up in Brantley county.. there I still have a select few of friends. Some I'm close to others I still have in my heart, but don't get to talk to them regularly. It is amazing to me how we can be bff's with someone when we are young, and be with them everyday but slowly grow apart. Ending up living totally different lives. That's just how life goes though.

My good friend Seleta, we are that.. we use to be so close. Always together, never apart...
Life happened, decisions made and she got prego, Peyton carter was born. She was a beautiful baby girl.

(This is Peyton with Alyssa, when she was a baby)

I wasn't around much, and I wish that I was around more. I guess with the things that happened I couldn't do much about it..

Today Ms. Peyton Carter is in a Coma on life support. No one not even the doctors know what happened or why, or even know how to make her better. She was always healthy, and full of life. It was a sudden shock to everyone. I ask for everyone prayers, for her and all the family.

Today when u go home, just hug and love the people that mean the most to you. You never know what the future holds. I know that when I got home yesterday from being there at the hospital I held my baby a little longer and wept. I am just so thankful for her in my life. I cant imagine the great deal of pain this family is going threw to have you baby one minute, and for her to be so sick the next.

I will keep everyone update as I know info, but till then again, please just pray that everything will turn around and she will again be a healthy and happy little girl and live a long a prosperous life.